Dejected on being Rejected

It is said, “Everything is fair in love and war.” Though love and war are emotions and situations that are two extreme ends of a pole, we still expect them to be fair. Yet most of us overlook this ‘fairness’ part of the proverb. We emphasize more on the ‘anything and everything’ aspect of love and war. I was convinced of this fact when I came across a news of youth stabbing a girl because she did not reciprocate his feelings of love. If love is fair, then why should it have element of violence? It is like love being overshadowed by violence and force. When war (violence) mixes with love, there is no space left for fairness.

When I read and think about such cases, I realize that some human beings are averse to rejection and criticism. We hear some haughty statements like, “I am not used to listening to NO”. This attitude has a lot to do with a person’s upbringing when his or her wishes are somebody else’s commands. Another reason is the machismo or patriarchy existing in a society like ours which turns some men into jilted lovers or perpetrators.

Rejection is capable of bogging us down and sometimes even a reason for falling into depression. But it is also like a bitter medicine which one has to take in order to do better in life. Rejections can teach us a lot. For someone who gets no response from any of the jobs applied, one always has an opportunity to hone his or her skills and be tailor-made for the best job that awaits. Isn’t it why it is said, ‘Failure is the stepping stone to success’? In our country where rat race is ubiquitous in every field, rejections are also inevitable for many who do not get an opportunity to see their dreams taking shape in a desired college or in a dream company, despite hours, days, months and years of hard work. However, patience helps and ultimately rewards the hard-working.

So how can the effect of rejection be diluted? It is good to have one goal in life and strive towards its achievement. Having said that, it is always better to have a plan B as well. There is always a possibility that we may necessarily not get what we want. In such a scenario, it is better to go with an alternate plan than cursing the fate for not granting your wish. Because time sprints and waits for none, the disappointments can look uglier if there are no efforts to drive the car of Life on some other, albeit bumpy road. We wish to lead our life on a smooth road, but the road is not always smooth. There have to be speed-breakers in form of rejections and failures. They are the toll that we pay to value what we already have in life and constantly persevere to improve.

In cases where love for someone does not get reciprocated, I think that life still should not stop for one person in particular. Resorting to extreme steps or going binge drinking in memory of that person may seem entertaining in movies or novels, but in reality it is an irrational step.  Life can be better without that ‘one special person’ and you alone have to be a catalyst for that betterment. It starts by keeping least expectations from people around you. That one step helps to ease the pain of disappointment that could arise in future.

Though rejection, failure, disappointment make us gloomy, but to fear them and not give something a try is again a sign of having low faith in yourself. Fear of rejection will never pull us out of our comfort zones and forever keep us complacent. If you have a lot of potential, but still refrain from doing better for yourself with the fear of being rejected, it is like being unfair to yourself and killing the strengths that you may possess. A person can still achieve what he wants by overcoming all the demons in his life, maybe not in the prime of his young age but at later point of time in life. The sense of satisfaction on fulfillment of a dream by defeating the hurdles in form of rejections and failures is the greatest feeling in the world. It is a test of a person’s perseverance and endurance to go for something that he likes, fighting all the odds. Rejections or failures can be shattering at first, but when taken in a positive way, it is possible to rise like a Phoenix and still win the world.