The Power of Grapevine

Being an ardent fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, I have watched the episode ‘The One with the Resolutions’ umpteen number of times. It is typical Rachel ‘to find out things and pass the information on’. The entire episode ahead is full of laughter and a big revelation, which changes the course of plot ahead.

We all have a Rachel in us, who loves to gossip. In fact, we are surrounded by gossips, like the breeze. It is human nature to talk about others. We either love to hear gossips or we share our ‘own versions of truth’ with friends or colleagues. I often see two friends starting the conversation with, “OK, now tell me all the interesting news that you have got!” Gossips are like brittle objects, they are entrusted with true confidants. Every topic of gossip starts with, “Don’t tell anyone, but I think…” That ‘Don’t tell anyone’ point of the confidentiality pact is immediately broken because soon the words spread out like wild fire. Rather in that excitement to listen to the sensational news, ‘don’t tell anyone’ is easily overheard.

There are some people who are known as sources of information. They have ears and spies all around. These ‘news sources’ consolidate the information that their five senses collect. But once the news breaks out to a large number of people, this source is lost in the crowd, who wisely wears an invisibility cloak. One has to win trust of these insiders, so that one is updated with all the latest happenings. These news agents portend future as well. Hence when all people around are flabbergasted when something actually happens, these sources sit back and smile proudly with ‘I knew it already’ attitude. The look on a person’s face while sharing interesting information about someone is that of curiosity and later of relief, when the information is unloaded off his or her back. It often happens with me that I know already something discreet and the other person supplies me with the same information. I am dumbfounded because until the ‘moment of my disappointment’ I am a privileged holder of that information.

What I find amazing in a grapevine communication is that it changes its colour in every transmission, like a chameleon. Hence, if a piece of information is passed from person A to person Z, we have 27 versions of the same incident; one being the actual truth and the other 26 are versions or interpretations of 26 different people. If the so-called secret news is about someone we don’t like, then we add our own ingredients to make the story spicier. There’s a script writer hidden in all of us, or should I call it our power of immense imagination?

Grapevine changes form and soon it becomes a story of fiction. In our eagerness to stumble upon something new, we often forget the impact it could have on someone’s standing among people. It can sometimes take an ugly turn and tarnish a person’s reputation. The modified versions of truth can influence our opinions or perceptions about someone. The views expressed in rumours or gossips are that of the person narrating them; but those views end up being our own opinions. It all melts down ultimately to our interpretation of things. Wrong interpretation simply adds oil to the fire. Sometimes we have got nothing to do with that information or that person, yet we form our opinions, we behave with that third person in a different manner. Sometimes pre-conceived notions help, sometimes they don’t. Be it in organizations or our personal lives, there is never a dearth of gossips and rumours. The decision whether to believe them or not is totally at our discretion. 

Information reaches to us in any form- be it social media or a casual chat with someone. It is inevitable that we are often witnesses (or victims?) of ‘sensational’ information. While seeing, listening and speaking are our involuntary functions, these functions have the power to shape our behaviours and personality. For some people, indulging in gossips is a pastime. It is a way to vent out some feelings towards others. I know it is totally utopic, but conversations without a tinge of gossip could also be entertaining. It is good to laugh at ourselves than at others. We can make our lives so interesting and full of passion that there should be no void to be filled by rumours and gossips, or we can choose to simply overhear what is not important to us. The train of our life should be fast paced and productive, so that these least important pieces of information can be like those fast changing views from a train, which go unnoticed. Rather than starting a conversation with, “A little bird told me…” it would be much more cordial to start with something like, “So tell me about the best part of your day!” I am sure that the sincere words coming from the heart can sound sweeter than the chirping of the ‘birds’.