Being
an ardent fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, I have watched the episode ‘The One with the
Resolutions’ umpteen number of times. It is typical Rachel ‘to find out things
and pass the information on’. The entire episode ahead is full of laughter and
a big revelation, which changes the course of plot ahead.
We all
have a Rachel in us, who loves to gossip. In fact, we are surrounded by gossips,
like the breeze. It is human nature to talk about others. We either love to
hear gossips or we share our ‘own versions of truth’ with friends or
colleagues. I often see two friends starting the conversation with, “OK, now
tell me all the interesting news that you have got!” Gossips are like brittle
objects, they are entrusted with true confidants. Every topic of gossip starts
with, “Don’t tell anyone, but I think…” That ‘Don’t tell anyone’ point of the
confidentiality pact is immediately broken because soon the words spread out
like wild fire. Rather in that excitement to listen to the sensational news,
‘don’t tell anyone’ is easily overheard.
There
are some people who are known as sources of information. They have ears and
spies all around. These ‘news sources’ consolidate the information that their
five senses collect. But once the news breaks out to a large number of people,
this source is lost in the crowd, who wisely wears an invisibility cloak. One
has to win trust of these insiders, so that one is updated with all the latest happenings.
These news agents portend future as well. Hence when all people around are
flabbergasted when something actually happens, these sources sit back and smile
proudly with ‘I knew it already’ attitude. The look on a person’s face while
sharing interesting information about someone is that of curiosity and later of
relief, when the information is unloaded off his or her back. It often happens
with me that I know already something discreet and the other person supplies me
with the same information. I am dumbfounded because until the ‘moment of my
disappointment’ I am a privileged holder of that information.
What I
find amazing in a grapevine communication is that it changes its colour in
every transmission, like a chameleon. Hence, if a piece of information is
passed from person A to person Z, we have 27 versions of the same incident; one
being the actual truth and the other 26 are versions or interpretations of 26
different people. If the so-called secret news is about someone we don’t like,
then we add our own ingredients to make the story spicier. There’s a script
writer hidden in all of us, or should I call it our power of immense
imagination?
Grapevine
changes form and soon it becomes a story of fiction. In our eagerness to
stumble upon something new, we often forget the impact it could have on
someone’s standing among people. It can sometimes take an ugly turn and tarnish
a person’s reputation. The modified versions of truth can influence our
opinions or perceptions about someone. The views expressed in rumours or
gossips are that of the person narrating them; but those views end up being our
own opinions. It all melts down ultimately to our interpretation of things.
Wrong interpretation simply adds oil to the fire. Sometimes we have got nothing
to do with that information or that person, yet we form our opinions, we behave
with that third person in a different manner. Sometimes pre-conceived notions
help, sometimes they don’t. Be it in organizations or our personal lives, there
is never a dearth of gossips and rumours. The decision whether to believe them
or not is totally at our discretion.
Information
reaches to us in any form- be it social media or a casual chat with someone. It
is inevitable that we are often witnesses (or victims?) of ‘sensational’
information. While seeing, listening and speaking are our involuntary functions,
these functions have the power to shape our behaviours and personality. For
some people, indulging in gossips is a pastime. It is a way to vent out some
feelings towards others. I know it is totally utopic, but conversations without
a tinge of gossip could also be entertaining. It is good to laugh at ourselves
than at others. We can make our lives so interesting and full of passion that
there should be no void to be filled by rumours and gossips, or we can choose
to simply overhear what is not important to us. The train of our life should be
fast paced and productive, so that these least important pieces of information
can be like those fast changing views from a train, which go unnoticed. Rather
than starting a conversation with, “A little bird told me…” it would be much
more cordial to start with something like, “So tell me about the best part of
your day!” I am sure that the sincere words coming from the heart can sound
sweeter than the chirping of the ‘birds’.
