The Gift (?) of Gab

Animal kingdom amazes me every time I watch a documentary; especially during the moments when the animals are communicating with each other- a lioness calling out to her cubs when she brings them a meal, monkeys alerting the deer when the predators are around or the arguments when prides, pairs or packs have disagreements. What really distinguishes humans from them are the advanced intellect and the ability to speak. Our vehicles to communicate are words and languages which should make sense to us and to the others we are communicating with.

We often appreciate people who have the gift of gab or confident and persuasive speaking skills. There are many professions associated with this talent. There are courses which teach you to be a good orator and train you in public speaking skills. Having command over language always helps in speaking effectively. Speeches and talks are effective when they are spoken in a language one is comfortable with. The impact is better and the purpose intended is also achieved.

After reaching a stage in German language learning where not only bombastic words but also strong and impactful content matters for scoring better, it made me think how important it is to speak wisely in our day-to-day lives as well. Actions speak louder than words, but these words themselves can have lasting impact on someone. Words can build or break relationships. Words, body language, the tone of speaking and most importantly the intent leave great impressions on someone’s mind to form opinions or judgments. The marks which a person scores or loses in these aspects differ in the certificates existing in numerous minds.

As a working professional I learn everyday where can stern or amicable language be used- sometimes combination of both. If management is the art of getting things done from people, then it is necessary that you talk in a language where your peers would really feel like working with you and giving results. I come across people who have years of experience glittering on them, but have condescending and authoritative speaking tones while dealing with their colleagues. I remember one such incident at work where two people from the same team were having a conversation with someone who could probably get their work done. Person A was being as understanding and courteous as possible. Person B was a complete contrast who spoke in a dictating and aggressive language. How much they both scored in the mind of the person they were speaking to, is again a matter of curiosity. Then come the threatening types whose survival on earth is dependent on one file that you send them. Panic and urgency is always surging within these people as they speak. With such people, it is always better to call a spade a spade. There are also mellifluously talking people who have a hypnotizing effect on someone. They can easily have their way, thanks to their oratory skills, which is in fact an art of winning people.

In our day-to-day lives too, it is necessary to introspect as to how we talk with people. It depends on the propinquity and the kind of camaraderie we share with someone. However, it should be kept in mind, especially in formal relationships, as to how you should deal with colleagues of opposite gender. Words, phrases or expressions which relate to the physical appearance or financial status should be carefully used. Holding the wrong end of the stick can spoil relationships and also can take ugly turn in form of legal actions. Therefore, boundaries have to be set when it comes to speaking, in any kind of relationship.

There’s a proverb in Marathi which literally translates into, “An arrow released from a bow and words once spoken cannot be taken back.” Yet you often wish that you could take words back. But the damage is already done. You have already lost someone’s trust. Sometimes in a foul mood, we often tend to speak harshly, though it might not be our true nature. Therefore, a serious thought always has to be given to the background, mindset and nature of the persons you deal with.  One casual comment can bring back bitter memories for someone. Words are like non-renewable resources; they have to be used prudently to have a promising and pleasant future with people around you. Your interaction with people should be such that they appreciate you even when you are not around. That is when gab is really a gift or talent and not mere gibberish.