Learning ABC - Attitude & Behavioural Change

In one of my graduation years, as we were soon going to be employable, the college decided to groom us in the area of Soft Skills. Some of my classmates saw it as an ennui-inviting programme, as it was held immediately after our semester end, cutting down a few days of our anticipated vacations. The training given to us during those few days regarding various aspects of corporate behaviour and etiquettes proved to be a valuable one. I can’t thank my college enough for that! During that training period, I noticed that some of my classmates hesitated to participate and communicate. They had to be compelled to speak. They were like scared lambs. Most of these introvert classmates usually did very well in the exams. But they had an aversion to any kind of participation. As a result, the training seemed to be futile for them.

I tried to surmise the reasons of their diffidence. The primary reason was that most of them were from vernacular schools, because of which they were not quite comfortable with English. Some of them could be gauche or may be having stage fear, which most of us experience. Or the fear of humiliation could be the biggest one. Though it is said that man should learn from his mistakes, these few classmates of mine feared to commit mistakes in the first place. I am very sure though, that if these people were given opportunities to speak in their mother tongue, they would be excellent and confident orators. What really matters is our outlook to absorb and show the willingness to learn something new, no matter if one fails initially. Attitude matters.

There are some people who I know whose attitude towards life and learning is sanguine, while others are maudlin and pessimistic. To elucidate, one of my friends used to view English as her Achilles heel and therefore did not have the courage to communicate in English. But at the same time, she was determined and ready to work upon her weaknesses. She used to and still accosts me to learn new words and makes a note of them along with their pronunciations. Her habit of reading English novels provided her the ministrations to be at ease with the language. By shedding all inhibitions, she is showing an optimistic attitude towards learning.

To give an illustration from the corporate world, take the example of stress interviews, where different reactions are noted for a given pressing situation or circumstance. In life too, there are difficult times where our approach is tested. Lately I tried to analyze two persons, let’s call them A and B for convenience sake. A is a person has had a near-death experience. Although others were skeptical about A’s recovery, A showed immense willpower to combat the sickness, which is why his recovery was faster. On the other hand, B is highly valetudinarian with minor health issues and therefore cannot enjoy life wholeheartedly. What B lacks is a positive approach and what exists in ample is negativity. Our way of thinking shapes our personality. There are many people, who inspite of being blessed with all kinds of comforts and felicity, are not happy in life. What more do they expect from life, remains a big question. Such people are never satisfied and are constantly found bemoaning, ultimately affecting their mental health. There are others, who fight all odds and succeed in their lives. It is all about how you perceive situations in your life. A SWOT Analysis of Life needs to be done to ensure long lasting happiness. From my personal experience, practising Yoga and Meditation conduce to channelize a person’s idiosyncrasy on a correct path.

Another aspect which we should consider is our behaviour towards people. Remember, “As you sow, so shall you reap”. It does not cost anything to be polite to people or to exude a smile or kindly gestures. Sadly, some people do not understand this. Human behaviour differs depending upon the atmosphere the person grows up in and also the economic and social conditions. For example, most of the times, while travelling by a bus, I notice that the conductors yell at the passengers for not giving an exact change or any other issue and the heated argument that follows, seems endless. In each case, the parties to be blamed are different. I am sure each one of us has faced episodes of cantankerous travelers in train compartments. Or, I have seen certain people who get a wicked pleasure to cause trouble to the helpless and put them in predicaments. Sometimes in small shops, the shopkeepers behave curtly with the customers, as if they are doing the customers a favour. In one of the banks, I read this beautiful quote by Mahatma Gandhi “A customer is the most important visitor on our premises…..We are not doing consumer a favour by serving him. He is doing us a favour by giving us an opportunity to do so.” Perhaps these rude shopkeepers have forgotten that. The reason why service industry flourishes these days is because good savoir faire is maintained towards customers. Of course all this forms part of the price which we pay for the services, but a person like me derives satisfaction not only from the service or product offered, but also from the hospitality. I wish if all people were this polite, courteous and sensitive towards others in daily lives.

Attitude and behavior of a person go hand in hand. It is the attitude which builds a person’s personality which reflects in his or her behavior. From the number of people I interacted with, I came to a conclusion that complacent persons find no reason to hurt others, while some who have a never- satisfying avarice spoil their own lives and also try to create obstacles for sincere people around them. To quote in mathematical parlance, attitude is directly proportional to behavior. There are difficult times, where our approach is tested, similar to a stress interview. From some of my past experiences, I have learnt that maintaining composure in such times and trying to overcome the problem, without getting dejected is the best solution. We should not let these situations steal from us the zest for life. Living life buoyantly, accepting the challenges in our ways with intrepidity, caring and valuing people’s feelings, I believe, builds up a charismatic and audacious personality.